A Renewed Mind

Renewed Mind Bible Journaling

I’ve had this misconception my entire life that people walk around wearing masks (hypocritical or not) that cover up deep conversations in their mind, emotional torment, and anything truly real.  The older I get, I realize now, more often than not, that some people really are just, “What you see is what you get.”  Maybe it’s the weird intellectual and creative gremlin jumping around in my mind, but there is more to me than meets the eye.  There’s a story under there, and truthfully I’m not hiding it, but no one seems to bother digging in either.  When I meet someone or attempt to cultivate a relationship I already have, I have this deep longing to know them for what they feel and what they think.   I honestly believe that what resides in your mind and your heart is essentially your essence.  What worries me most about the age in which we are living, is that I’ve learned, that for an unsettling amount of people, there just isn’t anything there!

I keep playing this cat and mouse game trying to tear down walls with people, only to discover that there was nothing even there to begin with.  I had this assumption that they were keeping me at a distance, but the truth was, they didn’t need walls.  There was nothing there to find; no intellectual substance, no emotional turmoil, just purely superficial being.  I haven’t quite decided if that’s a bad thing or not.  Maybe it’s just easier that way. For now I’ve just come to the conclusion that I am certainly different.

I struggle to connect with people in a superficial world, and that can leave me feeling pretty lonely.  Maybe that’s the special bond I am capable of sharing with other Christians who have been changed by the Holy Spirit.  It hasn’t worked for me yet, although I’m still holding out hope.  I have no shame anymore about speaking my mind and being blatantly obvious about how I feel or standing up for those who are honest with themselves.  That in itself makes it difficult to connect with people, but in theory, I want to be an open book that warrants others to feel as though they can be as well.

People make jokes of it, as if it’s an act to seem more “deep.”  It doesn’t offend me, but it does make me question what sets me apart from them.  It strikes me that they don’t understand.  What part of my mind is different then theirs?  I’m sure it will take me a couple more decades around the sun to figure it out.  Till then I hope individuals like me somehow gravitate in my direction because it gets pretty lonely in a daft and considerably vapid world!  I know God created me just as He intended; He renewed my mind for His purposes, that I may be more in tune with the Holy Spirit.

I’ll just leave you with these verses to ponder:

Romans 12:2

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Philippians 4:8

  • 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Jeremiah 33:3

3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

Unity

I felt like I was just dragging myself through the trenches this week.  Isn’t life just the pits sometimes?!  When I’m absolutely spent, I put so much pressure on my husband to pick me back up again; and let’s be honest, that’s way too much pressure!  I expect my husband as my partner to fill Christ’s position as comforter, and that is oh so wrong!  I desperately desire to be unified with him in those moments.  While my husband isn’t the most perfect consoler (he is a man after all), he brings me immense comfort knowing that he is a man of the Lord; a man that when realizing his lack of understanding, turns me to Christ instead.

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I desire unity with my husband more than anything else in this world, and in doing so, I completely miss what my husband is trying to tell me in his lack of action.  We expect our husbands to know exactly how we’re feeling, but the truth is, they just don’t; we as wives are complicated creatures.  When I’m unloading on my husband, expecting to be comforted, he sits in silence; It infuriates me beyond belief.  I’m swimming in absolute sin at this point, ladies!  I know in hindsight because of much prayer with the Lord, that he just simply doesn’t know what to say.   I work myself up in knots thinking he doesn’t care, but that’s just not true.  My husband is just as complicated as me, and if I took the time to pray in these instances, I would be reminded that I can’t read his thoughts either.  I expect the instant gratification of being comforted, but that’s just not how marriage works.  Every day of marriage is a learning lesson, and for ours, immensely so.  We have yet so much to learn about each other and to teach one another.  Christ has so much to teach us about unity in our marriage.

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I’ve been reading this short devotional on the You Version app that has really tugged at my heart and totally flipped my views upside down about our recent argument.  Isn’t it amazing how God’s word can change everything in hindsight?!  I wish I could turn off all my sinful tendencies, and His word wouldn’t be used in hindsight, but in that instant.

Only the Spirit can bring unity. Only the Spirit can free us from our pettiness and from the forces of guilt and sin that divide us from God and from each other.  I totally miss the mark when I forget that the Lord’s purpose for our marriage is to teach us the fruits of the spirit.  There is no foundation that can teach us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control quite like marriage.

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There is a reason that the Bible gives us reference to Paul the Apostle who draws a parallel between marriage and spiritual unity when he tells husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). For Christians, marriage is a reflection of the deepest unity: the unity of God and his church. In a Christian marriage, therefore, it is the unity of God’s kingdom, in Christ and in the Holy Spirit, that matters most. Ultimately, it is the only sure foundation on which a marriage can be built. “Seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).

I’m going to make it an absolute habit that when I feel let down and divided from my husband, to read this and be in prayer to understand how my husband is feeling and how I can bring more unity in those situations.

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Dear Lord, unity in our marriage is about so much more than just agreeing on things.  Your Word tells us that our unity actually reflects You to others.  Our disunity reveals how far we are from You in our spiritual lives and character.  Help us to keep a mindset of unity that is tied to the Truth in Your Word, rather than view our decisions and disagreements as competition of thoughts and will.

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John 17:23

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