(I’ve included some snippets of my Traveler’s Notebook, that I jot down quick prayers for my son in.)
Let me preface this by saying that I don’t think I have attachment issues, but the world interprets my closeness and dedication to my child as such. I spend ten hours away from my son Monday through Friday. My son is now two, and I’ve been doing this since he was five weeks old. For me in particular, dropping him off at daycare hasn’t gotten any easier, except for maybe the fact that he no longer holds onto my leg in tears (thank you Lord for that). I take my job as a mother very seriously; it’s a God-given blessing. I have learned that I must make many sacrifices of things that I desire outside of working hours because my child deserves my attention.
From very early on, family members, daycare facilitators, and strangers made me feel guilty for being so attached to my child; Sometimes they still do. Last week my husband and I started going to a new gym. They offer daycare included in your membership, and I was excited for this. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be to be able to workout with my husband. I thought it would be an excellent bonding experience for us; however, it didn’t really go the way I planned. The first try went pretty smoothly; however, the next go around, my son stood crying inconsolably as I tried to leave. So of course as the emotional mother I am, my eyes started to fill with tears. The two ladies working at the daycare looked at me like I was crazy. They could never understand that I am away from him so many hours a day, and how can I expect my child to stay for another hour with strangers; It’s my job to care for him and console him: It’s my job to sacrifice for him.
We live in a world that not only encourages, but nearly forces us to spend far too much time away from our children. Financially its the only feasible way that my family can survive in such a value-distorted economy. In fact our environment has taught its inhabitants to place judgement on women who simply are doing as God has asked. For mothers who stay at home, work part-time, or just ones like me (that soak up every minute they have outside of work), never let this vile world make you feel guilty for loving your child the way that God intended. To the mothers who put down their phones, miss a workout, and put their careers aside for their children, your “attachment issues” are not issues at all. It is a boundless representation of Christ’s love to your children.
I felt incredibly stupid as those women stared at me bewildered with my emotional response; I felt attacked by women who should understand how I feel. I do not want any one of you to feel that way! We need to be teaching women that caring for our children (or others if the Lord’s plan for you does not include children) is our most important responsibility. It’s the ultimate feminist movement. I want to be a part of a movement that takes the stigma out of loving our children with every breath of our existence, just as Christ has loved us.
Asher Smiles 